Do Not Be Afraid to Believe in God

Recently, after being served my food at a restaurant, the server told me to enjoy my meal and to have a blessed day. My son, who was with me, was surprised because, as he explained, didn’t hear people wishing him a “blessed” day as opposed to a “nice” day very much, in addition to not hearing “God Bless You” after a sneeze, the “God” part being left off. I explained to him that many people are afraid to openly express their religion or their spirituality or their belief in God because they are afraid to offend someone who might not believe. I told him that this made as much sense as people trying to hide their race or gender for the very same reason. 

Matthew 5:16 says that we should let our heavenly lights shine so that others will see our good works and will thus be led to give glory to God in Heaven. The simple act of wishing that someone be blessed by God is an example of someone fulfilling this instruction. This server was clearly not afraid to show that he was a believer in God, and in showing that he was not ashamed to be a believer, the bible says that God will not be ashamed of him at judgment.

There are many who will read this who may not believe in God, but for those who do, we should be as willing to let people know that we believe in God as we are willing to discuss the NBA Finals or the Real Housewives of Atlanta. This is not to say that we should attempt to force our beliefs onto every one that we see, but a simple act like saying “God bless you” or wishing that someone has a “blessed” day might just be the thing that lets a person know that there is a way to overcome whatever problem the person might be suffering through. 

As I told my son, there are people who do not like certain races, or who might have a problem dealing with one gender or another, but we persist knowing that we still need to live our lives. In a similar fashion, we should not be ashamed to let others know that we believe in God. If someone is offended because we wish them a “blessed” day, they will let us know, just as they will probably let us know that they do not like Whites, Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, men or women. In those instances, we move on, knowing that we did what God has asked us to do, and then we ask God to bless them anyway. 

Follow Eric E. Jenkins on Twitter @ericejenkins65

We Gain Lessons and Blessings From Every Event in our Lives

There are things that happen in everyone’s life every day. Some of these things are positive in nature and some are negative. Either way, no matter what it is that has happened, whatever the event is that has occurred; attached to that event or happening will be a lesson and a blessing. The bible says that wisdom is more precious than silver and will bring more profit than gold, so the key for us all is to take advantage of the lessons that we learn from the events in our lives so that we can experience the blessings that will come from them.

When we find ourselves in situations where something bad is about to happen to us, or where something bad has happened to us, the lesson with that is simply to not allow ourselves to be in those situations again. The blessing that we gain from that is the wisdom to know that when that situation is beginning to unveil itself, we know the signs and can avoid the situations and their negative outcomes. At the same time, we also now have wisdom that we can share, which is how we bless others. The bible says that the generous person, the person who blesses others, will be enriched or prosperous. So as we gain wisdom to help ourselves, we also gain wisdom to help others, which, as the bible states, will help us as well. 

When my children are complaining about things in their lives that might not be going as they would like for them to, I simply remind them that there is something to be learned and something to be gained from their experiences. If we look back at our lives, we can probably find the lessons from our experiences, and if we apply the lessons, we will be blessed beyond anything that we can imagine. We just have to be willing to learn, even from ourselves. 

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Behaving Like a Racist Makes You a Racist

Funny thing…if a white person says something derogatory about a person of color or performs an action to the detriment of a person of color, that white person will be considered a racist or a bigot. However, if a person of color says something derogatory about a white person, whether in comedy or as an act of defiance, that person of color will be considered to be acting out in response to many years of oppression and racial mistreatment. The sad reality is that racism is racism, whether as an action or as a reaction. 

Racism is defined as the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races. One of the things that I have taught my children is that if they want to be respected, then they have to show respect. While it is true that there will be instances where decisions will be made based on race, religion, gender or some other classification, more often than not, people will get out of life whatever they put into it. If a person behaves in a racist manner, they will be considered a racist, even if they are simply, in their minds, reacting to racism that they themselves had to endure.    

This piece is not designed to do anything more than say that racism is wrong, while some will see this as anti-black, anti-white, anti-comedy or anti-something else that can create controversy and conversation. The truth is that as a black man, I have been mistreated racially by white people, but I always looked at those instanced as exceptions as opposed to as the standards. The bible tells us that God wants us to treat others the way that we would want to be treated and that we should leave acts of revenge to God, and this is what I teach my children. Behaving is a racist manner in response to being racially mistreated makes us no better than those who we claim to have oppressed us. 

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College Doesn't Have to Cost a Fortune

There was once a guy who had been an honor student throughout his entire scholastic life. When he graduated from high school and was preparing to start college, he felt compelled to attend a prestigious university because he felt that this was what was expected of him because of how he had excelled through school. When he had finished college, received his degree, and was beginning to pursue his career, he discovered that no one cared about any part of his college career except for the fact that he had received his degree, and in only a very few cases, from where he had received his degree, which made him realize that much of the financial debt that had been attached to his attending the prestigious university could have been avoided.

This is not to say that renowned, but expensive colleges and universities don’t have their place in society, but for those who are not pursuing an education because they cannot afford one, these colleges are typically the reason that many choose simply not to attend. 

For those who cannot afford a 4-year university degree, community college is an option that should be explored. The government offers federal grants for education, and the costs associated with attending community colleges can, in most instances, be covered by these grants without the necessity to apply for loans to help cover the cost of education. In addition, much of the coursework is easily transferable to universities, so that individuals who desire to pursue Advanced Degrees can do so less expensively. 

I have often told my children that college is not about the institution, but is more about the education gained from the institution and the education’s usefulness to one’s life. For the many who feel as if they cannot attend college because of the cost, exploring the community college option is a path that many should consider. Even for those who are seeking professional certification, this can be accomplished at many community colleges for a cost that can usually be covered by Federal Grants. It is definitely something to consider.

With the Truth, The Story Never Changes

Often, when people talk to the same people time and time again, things that one person might have heard from another person during one conversation will be contradicted or disputed during a different conversation. This is because some people will tell whatever story they feel represents them the best at the time of the telling. The problem with this is that if people can remember what you said the first time, they will realize that you are not telling the same story the next time, which is why I have told my children that if they tell the truth every time, the narrative will never change.

People lie, there is no denying that. Sometimes people lie because they want to seem more important, and sometimes people lie because they do not want to have to discuss the truth. Still other times, people lie because they know that the person with whom they are speaking will not like or appreciate the truth (e.g., Does this dress make me look fat?). Whatever the reason, if we feel that it is necessary to tell an untruth, or if we tell untruths unconsciously, it is often difficult to retain the lies over time. It is because of this that many parents are able to know when their children are lying. The parent simply waits for the contradiction, and then refers the child back to the original conversation.

I have often told my children that if they tell the truth all of the time, the narrative will never change. If on one occasion a person says that they do not like a person of a certain race, their statement that they have no problem with people of that race becomes a direct contradiction of the previous statement. However, if they say how they truly feel and always speak truthfully about that issue, they will never be caught in a contradictory situation.

Telling the truth is something that should come easily because the truth is seldom something that has to be thought about or considered before it is told. A lie usually has to be crafted, unless the lie was prepared in advance. In many occasions, a person who was lied to will be angrier about finding out in the future that they had been lied to in the past than they would be if they had been lied to and had detected it immediately. This is why I have told my children that if they tell the truth all of the time, then the narrative never changes.

If You Don't Know...Ask

Whenever we as parents talk to our children about peer pressure, we talk about things like drugs, sex and crime, but perhaps the worst peer pressure comes in school with the fear of being labeled “stupid” or a dummy for asking a question in class. When the teacher is going over a lesson in class, more often than not, children will have questions, and quite often, several children will have the same question, but these children will elect not to ask their question because they do not want the other kids to make fun of them for not being smart enough to understand the lesson.

One of the things that I have told my children is that through the course of their education, they have to be the person who makes sure that they finish school with whatever education they need in order to benefit the rest of their lives. I tell them that the only way that this is going to happen is if they take ownership of their education, and do whatever it takes to make sure that they learn everything that they can, and generally, this means asking questions when they don’t understand something. I tell them that the other kids probably have the same questions, but they are just as afraid to ask them because they do not want to get teased either.

I understand that being teased in school is harsh, but I try to get my children to understand the endgame of school, which is success in life. Education is the key to being able to do whatever they want to in life, and to making whatever money they want to make. I tell them that the only way that this can happen is if they look beyond some name calling and look towards their future, when they will appreciate the knowledge that they would have gained through school, in particular, the extra that would have come from asking the question that the other children were afraid to ask.