Often,
when people talk to the same people time and time again, things that one person
might have heard from another person during one conversation will be
contradicted or disputed during a different conversation. This is because some people
will tell whatever story they feel represents them the best at the time of the
telling. The problem with this is that if people can remember what you said the
first time, they will realize that you are not telling the same story the next
time, which is why I have told my children that if they tell the truth every time,
the narrative will never change.
People
lie, there is no denying that. Sometimes people lie because they want to seem
more important, and sometimes people lie because they do not want to have to discuss
the truth. Still other times, people lie because they know that the person with
whom they are speaking will not like or appreciate the truth (e.g., Does this
dress make me look fat?). Whatever the reason, if we feel that it is necessary
to tell an untruth, or if we tell untruths unconsciously, it is often difficult
to retain the lies over time. It is because of this that many parents are able
to know when their children are lying. The parent simply waits for the
contradiction, and then refers the child back to the original conversation.
I
have often told my children that if they tell the truth all of the time, the
narrative will never change. If on one occasion a person says that they do not like
a person of a certain race, their statement that they have no problem with
people of that race becomes a direct contradiction of the previous statement. However,
if they say how they truly feel and always speak truthfully about that issue, they
will never be caught in a contradictory situation.
Telling
the truth is something that should come easily because the truth is seldom
something that has to be thought about or considered before it is told. A lie
usually has to be crafted, unless the lie was prepared in advance. In many occasions,
a person who was lied to will be angrier about finding out in the future that they
had been lied to in the past than they would be if they had been lied to and had
detected it immediately. This is why I have told my children that if they tell
the truth all of the time, then the narrative never changes.
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