Every Day IS a Blessed Day (With Excerpts from "Things I've Learned From the Word")

I recently had a conversation with an individual who, at the end of the conversation, told me to have a blessed day. I wished the same blessing on them and I was glad, as I had written recently, that the person was not afraid to believe in God. But as I walked away from that conversation, I started thinking about how I was already having a blessed day because I was alive and able to talk about having a blessed day.

Every time that we wake up, we have been blessed by God because there are many who go to bed only to have their lives ended while they slept. I tell people that having the ability to walk, talk, think, see, hear, touch and smell means that we are blessed. Even if we can only do some of those things and not all of them, we are blessed to be able to have the functions that we have.

I used to work in an office building and every day, I would attempt to park in approximately the same place, which meant that each day, I would pass by the car of a gentleman who truly inspired me. Each morning, the man would climb out of his van and would position himself into his wheelchair. The man had lost both legs and one of his arms, but he would use his one good arm to get himself into his chair. Aside from the fact that each day, I would marvel at the idea that he had just driven himself to work, I was amazed at his independence. He would put himself into his chair and use the mechanical device on the chair to drive the chair to the building. He would never let me open a door for him and he would never let me push an elevator button for him.

People would see him, and would tell me that the felt sorry for the man, and I would tell them not to because I knew that he had been blessed by God. When people asked how I could say that he had been blessed when he was forced to live with no legs and only one arm, I would say that he was still alive, he did not play the victim and feel sorry for himself, and he made the best use that he could of what he had, and that only a person with strong faith could endure in the face of such hardship. It was like the story of Job; no matter what the devil did to Job, Job did not turn his back on God because he knew that God had not turned his back on Job. This man confirmed for me that God blesses us every day, and that every day that we can discuss having a blessed day IS a blessed day.

Follow Eric E. Jenkins on Twitter @ericejenkins65

Stop Making Excuses for Failures

One thing that I notice from my children is that they always have a reason regarding what happened when they fail or they don’t measure up. While nearly everything that happens can possibly be explained, many times, when a person does not meet their goal or does not accomplish what they set out to accomplish, the reason usually is that the person fell short of reaching their goal and there is no other explanation necessary.

When I speak to my children, I often have to explain to them the difference between a “reason” and an “excuse”. The definition of a “reason” is a statement presented in justification or explanation of a belief or action, while “excuse” is defined as a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense. While it appears that these words mean the same, using the word “reason” to define “excuse”, and using “action” in the definition of one and “fault” in the definition of the other uncovers the difference. When something happens, we can explain it by stating the reason. When something bad happens, we try to explain it away by making an excuse.

If a person who rips their pants says that they fell and skinned their knee, which is how the pants ripped, they are explaining the reason that their pants are ripped and that their knee is bloody. However, when a person says that their homework is not complete because they had trouble understanding the work, yet they neglected to ask for help, they are making an excuse in an attempt to cover up their not asking for help when they were struggling with their work. It is here where I attempt to instruct my children on the difference between the two words.

I often tell my children, and other young people that I am fortunate enough to speak with, that when we use excuses to cover up our failures or our lack of effort; we are attempting to justify our own mediocrity or our own flaws. If a child does not understand their math homework, and if the parents cannot help, surely, there is someone who can, even if the child has to go to the teacher to explain that the child does not understand the work. However, when the child comes home and says that the class was too noisy for the child to be able to ask a question, or that the teacher didn’t pause during class for questions, I explain to my children that these are excuses for the child’s lack of effort and possibly, the child’s lack of commitment.

It is important that all people, both young and old, understand that unless we have done everything in our power to manage or overcome a problem, any explanation of our failure is probably an excuse because if there is more that we can do to solve the problem, then we should not be focusing on the failure. The truth is that we should be evaluating the failure so that we can determine an alternative course of action.

One thing that we as parents have to remember is that often times, the children do not realize that they have not exhausted all avenues for solving their problems. They will tell us that they are failing in a class because the teacher is too hard, but they do not realize that if someone is passing the class, then there is something that the passing child has figured out that the failing child has not. The child may believe that the teacher is simply too hard, and if a couple of other students are also struggling, then this must be the reason, but if one or more children are passing, the child might not have considered asking the passing children for help, but this would be a child admitting that they need help, and getting a child to do that is a topic for another day.

Parents have to understand that children are going to make excuses for their failures. As parents, our job is to take the excuses and turn them into teaching moments and opportunities to introduce the other options to our children. If the child thinks that the teacher is too hard, then we let the child know that if a single child is passing, then that child should become a resource. However, the most important thing that we can teach our children is to not accept failure and mediocrity, and to teach them that success comes from continued effort.